Post by Archaix on Aug 31, 2007 11:05:52 GMT -5
THIS is my official petition to be made King of International Nations. I will propose my intention here, and answer any questions you may have.
IT has come to my attention of late that the democratic system is not the best method of government. Rapists run wild in the streets slotting their pencils into people's sharpeners at random, while there are many technical malfunctions and periods of inactivity amongst the townsfolk. Why is democracy to blame? Because people are at fault, and these people make up the government.
I, however, am not at fault for any of these incidents. In fact, at the expense of my modesty it would not be an understatement to claim that I am the most perfect among us (see list below), and it should thus be me who leads International Nations into a new period of prosperity.
AS king you would expect the very best of my talents to be used at the disposal of the state. My first act will be to make everyone spell in British English, such spelling 'center' as 'centre', 'valor' as 'valour' and 'elevator' as 'lift'. My second act will be to abolish the use of images (except in 'The Express Yourself Through Images' thread) in response to written text. My third act will be to appoint a small government of trusted officials, probably involving some of you or, more likely still, a troop of literate apes with typewriters, to carry on the task of announcing edicts.
WHY I SHOULD BE KING AND NO ONE ELSE LIST*
Automaticz: Would make humans a second class citizens at the expense of penguins.
Debro: Would expect you to take over half of the known world for the sake of his legacy.
Deutschgarten: Likes men.
Kaleckton: Is a rapist.
Kardas: Told me privately that you all suck.
Led Zeppelin: Would rule by imperial edict in the form of pictures.
Nibu: Would rule like a Chinaman in a bullshop.
Primus Orios: Would last only two days before being deposed, executed, chopped into tiny pieces and distributed all along the Nile Valley.
Yours cordially,
Horatio Archaix
*This list is not intended to offend anyone, or in any way affect your decision when voting positively for me as king.
IT has come to my attention of late that the democratic system is not the best method of government. Rapists run wild in the streets slotting their pencils into people's sharpeners at random, while there are many technical malfunctions and periods of inactivity amongst the townsfolk. Why is democracy to blame? Because people are at fault, and these people make up the government.
I, however, am not at fault for any of these incidents. In fact, at the expense of my modesty it would not be an understatement to claim that I am the most perfect among us (see list below), and it should thus be me who leads International Nations into a new period of prosperity.
AS king you would expect the very best of my talents to be used at the disposal of the state. My first act will be to make everyone spell in British English, such spelling 'center' as 'centre', 'valor' as 'valour' and 'elevator' as 'lift'. My second act will be to abolish the use of images (except in 'The Express Yourself Through Images' thread) in response to written text. My third act will be to appoint a small government of trusted officials, probably involving some of you or, more likely still, a troop of literate apes with typewriters, to carry on the task of announcing edicts.
WHY I SHOULD BE KING AND NO ONE ELSE LIST*
Automaticz: Would make humans a second class citizens at the expense of penguins.
Debro: Would expect you to take over half of the known world for the sake of his legacy.
Deutschgarten: Likes men.
Kaleckton: Is a rapist.
Kardas: Told me privately that you all suck.
Led Zeppelin: Would rule by imperial edict in the form of pictures.
Nibu: Would rule like a Chinaman in a bullshop.
Primus Orios: Would last only two days before being deposed, executed, chopped into tiny pieces and distributed all along the Nile Valley.
Yours cordially,
Horatio Archaix
*This list is not intended to offend anyone, or in any way affect your decision when voting positively for me as king.
" -Archaix
