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Post by Archaix on May 4, 2008 17:51:05 GMT -5
Oh man, I can't think of a joke.  |
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Post by Archaix on May 4, 2008 17:53:19 GMT -5
Wait... Q: what wears a trench coat, carries a sawn-off shotgun and goes stalking the streets for human prey? A: Deutschgarten. No joke.  |
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Post by Republicas Gloria on May 23, 2008 6:23:29 GMT -5
What is an Islamic Extremist Cave TV schedule?
MONDAY
8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
8:30 - "Mad About Everything"
9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
10:00 - "Allah McBeal"
TUESDAY:
8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
8:30 - "The Price is Right If Osama Says It's Right"
9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"
9:30 - "Afganistan's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10:00 - "Buffy The Infidel Slayer"
WEDNESDAY:
8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
8:30 - "When The Northern Alliance Attacks"
9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
10:00 - "Veilwatch"
THURSDAY:
8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
9:00 - "Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils"
9:30 - "My Two Baghdads"
10:00 - "Diagnosis: Heresy"
FRIDAY:
8:00 - "Judge Laden"
8:30 - "Funniest Super 8 Home Movies"
9:00 - "Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things"
9:30 - "Achmed's Creek"
10:00 - "No-witness News"
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Post by Neo Nibu on Jun 7, 2008 21:34:03 GMT -5
Stole this from an NS post at some region I've forgotten already... (copy pasted it)
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.
The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke." He then turns to the ostrich and asks, "What about you?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later, the waitress returns with the order, "That will be £6.40 please." (this joke was sent to me by a British friend)
The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Once again, the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening when the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man. "Same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later, the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be £12.62." Again, the man pulls the exact amount out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir, but how do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic, and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be
there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right - whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
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Post by Northern Australis on Jun 9, 2008 15:19:43 GMT -5
A great Russian Joke
Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev are all travelling together in a railway carriage. Unexpectedly the train stops. Lenin suggests: "Perhaps, we should call a subbotnik, so that workers and peasants fix the problem." Stalin puts his head out of the window and shouts, "If the train does not start moving, the driver will be executed!" But the train doesn't start moving. Khrushchev then shouts, "Let's take the rails behind the train and use them to construct the tracks in the front". But it still doesn't move. Brezhnev then says, "Comrades, Comrades, let's draw the curtains, turn on the gramophone and pretend we're moving!"
To sum up the Russians' experience with political leaders thus far: Lenin showed how a country can be ruled; Stalin showed how a country should be ruled; Khrushchev showed that any moron can rule a country; Brezhnev showed that not just any moron can rule a country.
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