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Post by Neo Nibu on Feb 17, 2007 17:23:31 GMT -5
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
If you know a joke post one!
-Nibu
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Post by deutschgarten on Feb 28, 2007 17:19:10 GMT -5
How many flys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2, But I don't know how they got in there.
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Post by Neo Nibu on Apr 26, 2007 8:14:07 GMT -5
This is kinda riddle joke; I’ll post the answers tomorrow.
My favorite word starts with f and ends with uck, what is it?
My favorite word starts with p and ends with orn, what is it?
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Post by Robespierre - P.R. of Debro on Apr 26, 2007 10:13:45 GMT -5
fastduck? ok,ok i know...two words.  |
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Post by Neo Nibu on Apr 26, 2007 12:47:30 GMT -5
fastduck? lol, i'm sure you can do better than that.
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Post by Robespierre - P.R. of Debro on Apr 26, 2007 13:56:05 GMT -5
i can only hope that it's not fuck |
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Post by Archaix on Apr 27, 2007 7:16:14 GMT -5
The last one might be 'popcorn'.
The first joke was excellent, by the way.
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Post by Neo Nibu on Apr 27, 2007 12:30:23 GMT -5
Yup the 2nd one is popcorn!
And the first one is, drum roll please, Firetruck!
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Post by Alida & Syren on Apr 30, 2007 12:23:44 GMT -5
ooooh thats clever well done
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Post by Robespierre - P.R. of Debro on Jun 25, 2007 11:26:22 GMT -5
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w"with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
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Post by Neo Nibu on Jun 25, 2007 19:55:16 GMT -5
lol, I stopped trying after it got too hard to read. This isn't fair for someone who's dyslexic.
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Post by Archaix on Jun 26, 2007 14:33:04 GMT -5
That was really good! Almost believable, too.
Actually, there's a movement to make French the language of the EU, because they argue that French is the best language for law.
Unless you're not French, like the other 400 million in the EU.
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Post by Robespierre - P.R. of Debro on Jun 26, 2007 14:49:37 GMT -5
well,one of the newer members,Rumania prefer the french.
ok,ok i'm with you.
p.s.: Well, the forum of the corporate conservative has a valuable post.Yep, the joke were taken from there.
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Post by Archaix on Jun 26, 2007 15:02:50 GMT -5
They have a forum? I thought they congratulated themselves endlessly on their mediocre wit and grasp of simple economic formulae on their regional logbook like good little troglodytes.
Although I suppose they ARE organized. They've done some daring raids, I'll grant them.
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Post by Robespierre - P.R. of Debro on Jun 26, 2007 15:13:32 GMT -5
Yeah, the 'debate' board is impressive....33% of them lean to accept democracy and 77% of the voters think that unemployed ppl should go to labour camps.lol. Arbait macht frei, isn't it?
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Post by Archaix on Jun 26, 2007 15:17:33 GMT -5
Damn capitalist fascists. Second in my hatred only to racist fascists.
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Post by deutschgarten on Jul 1, 2007 13:13:49 GMT -5
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w"with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. lol. Gehen Deutsch! |
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Post by Neo Nibu on Jul 14, 2007 20:33:13 GMT -5
What do you/they mean by 'best language for law'?
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Post by Archaix on Jul 15, 2007 6:45:55 GMT -5
I suppose they reckon it's the language with a good terminology when it comes to law. I think it's just an attempt to make the EU French, though.
But Spain is the best language for bureaucracy. It takes three times as long to say anything/
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Post by deutschgarten on Jul 15, 2007 14:26:17 GMT -5
Ha ha, that's so true.
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" -Archaix
