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Post by Archaix on Jun 14, 2007 8:35:12 GMT -5
How about...
Kardas was a Dutch history student at the University of Munich, studying the later periods of the renaissance.
It was during his research into a particular figure of this era, Pierre Marseille -a 16th century humanist theorist and author- that he and a fellow-alumni, Automaticz, discovered discrepancies in certain contemporary accounts. It transpired that certain historians of the period confused the details of Marseille's youth, where he left Paris in order to travel the continent.
There was only one thing to do -check Marsaille's own accounts of the period. However, as Kardas and Automaticz soon discovered, there was little to no information to be found anywhere in the country -not at Munich, Danzig or even Berlin.
Automaticz, in particular, was keen to unravel the secret. After flying to the three premier historical universities in the United Kingdom, only Edinburgh University Library held any accounts. Kardas, in the meantime, had not been informed of the visit, and decided to travel himself.
When Kardas arrived at the university library, he found nothing of the missing book, nor Automaticz. A helpful librarian thought she had seen someone matching Automaticz's description pondering the shelves a few days previously, but that was the extent of her knowledge.
A few months later, there was a message left on Kardas' answer phone. It was a librarian of Paris University, who had recently been in contact with the student when he had searched far an wide for the book. According to the librarian, a vault under the ancient university had been discovered by archaeologists, who had managed to recover dozens of lost manuscripts. Among them was the book Kardas had been searching for. If he would like to come over, he said, he could see the book for himself.
A week later, pouring over the book with great care, the chapter dedicated to those fateful months of Marsaille's life unfolded:
Kardas reasoned that Automaticz must be in search of the Emerald, but that he could not find it. Marsaille was clearly adamant that Emerald must never be found, so why was Automaticz so sure it could be?
At his hotel, the student recounted the facts. The Emerald must be in London, somewhere, underground. Thus, Automaticz would be searching below the earth. How long would that take? Quite a while, unless...
Kardas stood up, suddenly it was all so clear! Automaticz wouldn't be searching for it -his animals would! From birth Automaticz had a kinship with animals that had served him well all through his life. He would be using underground creatures: moles, worms, et cetera, to search for him! It wouldn't take long to find it this way. Not with hundreds of animals.
There was only one thing to do: find Automaticz, and stop him. It wouldn't be easy, but hell, who ever thought it would?
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Post by Kardas on Jun 14, 2007 8:42:58 GMT -5
Whoah  Nice.  Did you choose Germany on purpose? EDIT: Should we just leave the Dragon's origins and how he met Kardas in mystery? It saves us needing to write even more of a prologue. |
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Post by Robespierre - P.R. of Debro on Jun 14, 2007 11:58:37 GMT -5
indeed, great work, guys!  (just to shock Archaix ;D) So, the background of Kardas is appearing like a dream...what do you think? We have plenty of storylines, so i would suugest to stick with em for a while..so: parliement,emerald, agency, and automaticz's strange ability to rule the animals.(maybe automaticz is a mad nationalist, using the penguins and the (now unknown) power of the emerald to achieve the scottish independence, and then rule the world...  ) And Archaix's and Automaticz's new chapters are interferring... |
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Post by His Holiness King Of Penguins on Jun 14, 2007 12:36:55 GMT -5
the SNP have a majority in the Scottish Parliment.... by one seat but anyway the support Scottish independence  So i like them |
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Post by Archaix on Jun 14, 2007 12:41:59 GMT -5
They don't have majority. They have a minority government.
And I thought the dragon bit could filled in by Kardas, since they're his dragons, after all.
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Post by His Holiness King Of Penguins on Jun 14, 2007 13:04:02 GMT -5
Yup but the snp still have the most MSP's plus the 2 greens which support them (voting for the First Minister but im sure they will just agree with everything else) The liberal democrats are a lil bit evil cos they wouldn't even talk with the SNP's i think they were loving the new found attention from the SNP wanting an allience sort of thing.
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Post by Archaix on Jun 14, 2007 15:04:46 GMT -5
I wish the Lib Dems had won, since they are almost as left as the SSP but without the independence policy, and has the credibility as Labour but without the ineptitude. Seriously, how much good did the Lib Dems do you? They funneled more money into public spending and kept top-up fees out of Scotland. What do the SNP want to do? Cut ties with England, thus ruining the Scottish economy so that the only way it can survive is if it slashes public spending. Not to mention the added cost of building new institutions and the cost of trading with England (since there will be trade barriers on the border). Of course, this is just one of the dimensions of the story |
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Post by Kardas on Jun 15, 2007 0:25:50 GMT -5
Righto. This'll chronicle Kardas meeting the Dragon and why he went to Archaix's place anyway. Maybe this could be a second dream of his.
Kardas came out of the university library, pondering, and decided to go back to his house in Harlingen (a town in the northwest of the Netherlands) and gather up what he needed. While going to the bus stop, he bumped into a man, and let his papers drop. The man saw Kardas' notes and of all the words, one stood out- Automaticz. "You know Automawticz?" the man asked. It took a while before Kardas, unsure, answered "yes, he's buddy of mine in university. Why?"
"I'm looking for him, I work for an Agency that just received word that he may destroy something this country had for over 300 years." (Act of 1707 if you get my drift). "My name's Archaix."
"I'm Kardas. Thank you for that, but I have to catch my plane to the Netherlands."
"All right. Good luck."
Please comment on this, I'm not entirely happy with it. Now for the Dragon part:
Harlingen. A week after Kardas met Archaix, another odd thing happened while Kardas walking along the beach. He saw a dot in the coming from the south (he had his compass with him), but dismissed it as an airplane. That is, until the dot grew larger and just barely landed on the beach! Kardas loved Lego when he was younger, and because of that, he recognized it immediately. It was a 4-meter tall and 5 meter-long Dragon! Kardas was alone on the beach as winter had passed, and realized a potential friend in what he had been planning the whole time- stopping Automaticz. Kardas stayed with the beast for the rest of the afternoon, only returning with some fresh meat and a steak with barbeque sauce, which was his and the Dragon's dinner. Oddly, the Dragon didn't eat the raw meat first, but Kardas' BBQ sauced-steak first, and scrunched down the raw meat when he spilled barbeque sauce on it (I put this in for later comic relief) . When morning came around, the Dragon was well again and Kardas, who had spent the night sleeping on the beach, very hungry. But Kardas had found a friend, and after stopping at his own house to get what he needed, he and his Dragon flew off to the adress Archaix had provided them.
And that is how I arrived at Archaix's house. Archaix didn't recognize me as he was dying and I had a Dragon with me.
Like it? Should I change anything?
(PS, when I get dialogue later on in the story, we ought to put a comment about me still needing to pay for Archaix's blasted down door for comic relief.)
We're well on our way to the climax I think
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Post by Archaix on Jun 15, 2007 5:56:00 GMT -5
When talking about Kardas I usually try to slip into an old style, more like the Lord of the Rings or some old 18th century horror story, because of the whole dragon thing. It's a pity he's been knocked out because I was hoping he could do a bit of freelance fighting alongside the police. Maybe he'll gather himself together for the climax, I don't know.
Another style of writing I've noticed is how everything goes very calm and detailed when Automaticz is the central character, with occasional forays into ridiculousness (vide when he pulls out a bomb).
When Nibu and Deutsch are the centre, because they're American I usually imitate Hemingway, keeping it cool and logical. I might do the same with Debro but I'm not sure, since he's European and will come at problems from a European perspective.
---
Kardas walked briskly out of the university library, shuddering in the cold air of late autumn. He made his way along to his apartment to dump all the papers in his hands, piled up high from an intensive night study on Erasmus. He had a plane to catch this afternoon, and he wanted to leave all his work behind.
It was as he turned a corner, however, that he bumped straight into a man, and the papers flew out everywhere all over the street. The man saw Kardas' notes and of all the words, one stood out- Automaticz.
"I'm sorry about that, sir," said the man, in English. He ranged about six foot, dressed in a dark, expensive suit. A fedora, turned down low, masked the particulars of his face. "Let me help you with those." He grasped around for the papers, piling them into Kardas' arms. The final paper, however, remained in the hands of the stranger. As he read the page, he said the word 'Automaticz' under his breath.
It took a while before Kardas, unsure, answered "Yes, he's buddy of mine in university. Why?"
"Let's just say I'm looking for him. He's in a lot of trouble, I can tell you. My name's Archaix." He tried to shake hands with Kardas, but the weight of all the papers made the task impossible.
"I'm Kardas. Thank you for that, but I have a plane to catch."
"All right. But if you hear anything from Automaticz, let me know. here's my number." Archaix left a small rectangular piece of paper on the top of the enormous pile of papers, and walked away.
A few moments later, Kardas collapsed under the weight.
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Post by Robespierre - P.R. of Debro on Jun 15, 2007 16:06:37 GMT -5
Very good. The whole story has a style...ok, i'll write the chapter about the debro-archaix connection, and after that i will update the main thread...
action-->background---->climax, i like it!
"La AutovĂa del Mediterráneo" - read the white roadsign Debro. "Only ten miles" - thought he while he observed himself in the mirror.
A young, tanned man glanced back with determined sight. He was only 27 years old ... five years of service in the Foreign Legion, five years in the Agency. Despite his experience and his careful nature, he couldn't return the favour that Archaix had given him. Touching the scar on his forehead, he heared the explosions again. Legs on the road, raped women, slaughtered children ... and the wind! Always brought the smell of the death. The civil war of Ivory Coast. He was a sniper, and Archaix was his spotter. Two men, but one organism.
After the unsuccessful attempt to assassinate General Guei, he was taken as prisoner, but his comrade rescued him just before the firing squad were ready.
"A true friendship is always forged in hell" - thought Debro whilst stepped on the gas pedal. - "Five more miles."
After Debro received his medal and retired, he took Spain to begin his calm years.
it's your turn now, Archaix...how did i became the member of the agency...?
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Post by Kardas on Jun 16, 2007 1:03:12 GMT -5
Really nice guys. That's way better than what I wrote Archaix! Especially the ending's good And if we want Kardas to do freelance fighting with the police, we can always tone down his injuries |
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Post by Archaix on Jun 16, 2007 5:50:06 GMT -5
It's a team effort!
When Debro reaches Madrid:
"Juan! Wake up, damn you!"
Don Juan de Huesca opened his eyes, and let the bleary, swaying vision of his room hang in his sight for a while.
"Juan! For God's sakes' it's almost noon!"
Juan lifted himself up, and padded over the window, which was currently resisting the barrage of small stones Debro was hurling. He dodged one as he opened the window, and peered out.
"Debro?" He said, faintly.
"Let me in, damn you!"
"Why? Que pasa?"
"I'll tell you in a minute. Open up!"
Juan plodded downstairs, and opened the door to his visitor. Wasn't Debro supposed to be in Malaga...?
"Juan, me and Dalton have come straight from Malaga," Ah, so they had. "Turns out that Automaticz is almost in possession of the Emerald."
After he'd properly dressed, eaten and poured the first coffee of the day, he and Debro discussed the situation at length.
"So you're saying Automaticz has mobilized?"
"That's right. Dalton received orders to kill me, Sam killed Archaix and Automaticz is on the move. the Americans have even sent agents early this morning!"
"An ingles has died?"
"Yes. It's all getting serious, now. Nobody's quite sure when the zoos will spill over, but when they do, that's when you know Automaticz is about to get the Emerald."
"So what are you doing here?"
"We need all the agents and equipment we can muster, and then we need to fly to Calais and guard the crossing. Currently there's just the three of us, but Orios should meet us in Calais -he's another American agent."
"Right. Let's lock and load."
Information about how we joined the agency will be posted just as the climax nears.
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Post by His Holiness King Of Penguins on Jun 16, 2007 6:07:35 GMT -5
I wish the Lib Dems had won, since they are almost as left as the SSP but without the independence policy, and has the credibility as Labour but without the ineptitude. Seriously, how much good did the Lib Dems do you? They funneled more money into public spending and kept top-up fees out of Scotland. What do the SNP want to do? Cut ties with England, thus ruining the Scottish economy so that the only way it can survive is if it slashes public spending. Not to mention the added cost of building new institutions and the cost of trading with England (since there will be trade barriers on the border). Of course, this is just one of the dimensions of the story You know Scotland could be richer is it became independent bacause they would get all of the oil money and a while ago (about over 10 years or something) when oil was found england tried to cover up just how much oil there was because Scotland wanted to become independent but england knew that if Scotland got told the truth they would all want to become independent and england would not get any money from the oil. England lied to its own people so that it could get money. |
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Post by Archaix on Jun 16, 2007 6:14:24 GMT -5
That's just propaganda. Scotland would have to survive almost purely on oil and tourism, which wouldn't be enough to cover the standard of living you enjoy now. The only way you could get out of it is by applying to the EU...which England contributes the most to anyway.
And this is forgetting the hundred's of years worth of investment in Scotland by England. Ever wondered why Glasgow managed to get so big? It was because England commissioned ships for the Empire. And then everyone in Scotland complains about how England ruined everything for Scotland in the 80's with all the massive unemployment, etc, when the same things and more was happening down south in Manchester, Sheffield, Hull, and so on.
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Post by His Holiness King Of Penguins on Jun 16, 2007 6:17:22 GMT -5
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Post by Archaix on Jun 16, 2007 6:30:18 GMT -5
(I'm a aware we're digressing here, but...)
Firstly, this is an SNP publication. It's likely to be extremely biased.
Secondly, it makes vast claims about how a future Scotland would work. It makes the claim, for instance, that it could spend a huge amount on each person, yet fails to recognise that it would only be able to do this for a mere twenty years, thirty at the upmost. Then where would Scotland be? A loose state without any solid assets whatsoever.
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Post by His Holiness King Of Penguins on Jun 16, 2007 6:59:39 GMT -5
This is what i hate, england thinks that Scotland is stupid and they say if Scotland became independent then it wouldnt know what to do, how can we be basicly ruled by a country that thinks the we are stupid. If Scotland became independent then it would get lots of money from the oil (did you even watch the viedo??) and would be able to well upgrade the country and possibly become well better than england, this is what england is afraid of Scotland becoming a better nation and loosing some territory. England lied to Scotland and tried to trick Scotland, if this was known at the time then Scotland would of became independent ages ago, our partner country, a country that rules over us basicly lied to its citizens and not a little lie a HUGE lie. So how is Scotland supost to trust what england says if they lied to them so they wouldn't become independent?
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Post by Kardas on Jun 16, 2007 8:11:16 GMT -5
Eh, Great Britain politics (shakes head). Oh well... I say Kardas ought to be healed sometime during the climax, may be unnatural, but.... Primus Orios will like that he's a character in the story And before I post this.... ERASMUS!!! DUTCHIE!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!! |
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Post by Archaix on Jun 16, 2007 8:58:16 GMT -5
This is what i hate, england thinks that Scotland is stupid and they say if Scotland became independent then it wouldnt know what to do, how can we be basicly ruled by a country that thinks the we are stupid. I think you're only saying this to get away from the fact that I'm right. If Scotland became independent then it would get lots of money from the oil (did you even watch the viedo??) and would be able to well upgrade the country and possibly become well better than england Even if it managed to (which is a dubious claim), the fact of the matter is that it wouldn't be able to sustain this for very long since the oil will run out in 20-30 years. Then Scotland will be poor, and will want the UK to take it under it's wing again. And yes, I did watch the video. this is what england is afraid of Scotland becoming a better nation and loosing some territory. England lied to Scotland and tried to trick Scotland, if this was known at the time then Scotland would of became independent ages ago, our partner country, a country that rules over us basicly lied to its citizens and not a little lie a HUGE lie. So how is Scotland supost to trust what england says if they lied to them so they wouldn't become independent? It was a Conservative government, enough said. English nationalists are no better than Scottish nationalists, and they both make me sick. That oil is no more Scotland's oil than it is England, and we should be putting aside these petty differences anyway to focus on the plight of the prolateriat.  Kardas: I wondered if anyone would notice! |
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Post by His Holiness King Of Penguins on Jun 16, 2007 9:04:09 GMT -5
You think that when the oil runs out Scotland become very poor and there is a huge disaster. Scotland could invest the oil money in things that will las much longer that 20 - 30 years and the new pm does not look like he will favour Scotland.
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Did you choose Germany on purpose?
)
So i like them